The Shape of Water: Making a Splash

Film: The Shape of Water

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Rating: R

When I watched Pan's Labyrinth for the first time, I had no idea what to expect. I knew that the film had an audience, but no one I knew ever talked about the film. Probably because the whole film was in Spanish and that language barrier would cause some to be hesitant. Regardless of box office success and critical response, I went into Pan's Labyrinth with next to no knowledge about it, other than a tribute song that one of my favorite electronic music producers created that I had on repeat. Little did I know that this foreign film would become one of my, if not absolute, favorite films of all time. I had no idea a Spanish film would cement my love for films, and helped me look a little deeper into their capabilities of visual story telling. Since 2016, Pan's Labyrinth has been one of my favorite films that I have ever watched, with its original story telling, blend of fairy tales and reality that works in harmony with each other, and brilliant cinematography and characters. Coming into mid-2017, when I found out Guillermo del Toro was creating another film with a similar tone as Pan's Labyrinth, I was excited and intrigued. What can del Toro bring to the table this time? Will lightning strike twice? After watching the film, I can say that The Shape of Water, while, for me, is not as good as Pan's Labyrinth, is still great, with its well paced story, wonderful acting, and beautiful cinematography. However, the tone of the film did teeter a little bit for me and I felt that del Toro borrowed a little too much from his film Pan's Labyrinth at times.

The Shape of Water centers around Elisa (Sally Hawkins), a mute janitor for a government laboratory, who comes across a creature that was recently captured by the United States military on a trek through South America. The creature, known as The Asset (Doug Jones), and Elisa began to interact with one another, and eventually begin to fall in love with each other. The head of the research team, Colonel Richard Strickland (Michael Shannon), is not very fond of The Asset. After having an incident with the creature resulting in the loss of two of his fingers, Strickland feels the need to show his disposition and dominance over the creature, while the research team seeks to find a way to study the creature to get an edge on the Russians in the space race, with one of the scientists (Michael Stuhlbarg) secretly working as a double agent for the Russians, who also happens to develop a fondness for The Asset.

What really sticks out to me in this film is the acting from Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, and Doug Jones. The performances from these three were excellent. Hawkins' ability to bring so much character and emotion to a character who is mute was phenomenal, speaking few to no words at all (with the exception of one scene). Hawkins had to speak utilizing sign language and facial expressions, which she executed greatly. Michael Shannon was no slouch either with his character, filled with dominance, rage, and power. Shannon steals nearly every scene he is in. Doug Jones, this being another venture with del Toro, was excellent as well, with his portrayal as The Asset. Jones' experience in playing movie monsters is showcased here excellently, often times myself forgetting that is Jones himself portraying the creature.

The story itself is executed well, with no scene going to waste. A lot of the scenes deal with the establishment and development of our characters, with the film taking advantage of the fact that film itself is a visual story telling medium. We are shown Elisa's daily routine before work along with establishing her character in a scene where she masturbates in the bathtub as she preps her lunch for work, showcasing her loneliness in her love life. The Asset's ferality is showcased as well, with his defensive and skittish nature early on in his interactions with humans, along with his curiosity with Elisa and intelligence with the ability to learn sign language, much like Koko the Gorilla in real life. Strickland also gets this treatment of character establishment, with his dialogue and speech delivery of assertion and dominance showcasing who he is, even down to the way he has sex with his wife, utilizing the missionary position, where the woman lies beneath the man, and how he uses the urinal, with both hands on his hips. There is very little filler in this film in regards to these scenes. Even a scene where Strickland is buying a car feeds into his character, choosing the car that shows off his wealth and power, along with said car being damaged later in the film, representing a damage to his power and reputation. The only thing missing really is Strickland wearing a diamond studded watch to show off his reputation.

The film itself is dazzling, with a pristine shine and vibe that only del Toro could bring to the table. The colors of this film are nicely stylized that give off the vibe of the early 1960s: bright, shiny, and warm, even if that decade had its darker moments, especially with the Cold War hanging over everyone's heads. The scenes inside the laboratory also establish an atmosphere of mystery and grit, with cool and mute colors, a contrast to the outside world. In fact, del Toro establishes a contrast of tones within this film of romanticism, cleanliness, and positivity prevalent in the outside world, to the grit, dirtiness, and violence within the laboratory, before the two essentially collide in the third act of the film as it heavily rains outside. Not to mention, the visual aspects for The Asset were incredible, with a mixture of makeup and CGI that blend together seamlessly. Couple that with the aforementioned acting of Doug Jones, and you have yourself a beautiful and near realistic movie monster.

This Shape of Water isn't perfect, however. With the contrasting tones established, I feel that the film has a little trouble balancing them at times. There are some tonal inconsistencies within the grit of the laboratory, with Zelda Fuller's (Octavia Spencer) comedic dialogue kind of cracking the tone of the scene at times. I feel also that the romance that develops between Elisa and The Asset isn't paced as well as it could have been, as it feels like their falling in love with each other happens a little fast. I think a little more development could have been put in, as opposed to a time lapse of chopped scenes developing such interactions. The Shape of Water also draws parallels to one of Guillermo del Toro's previous films, that of Pan's Labyrinth. While I do like that there is a little crossover between these two films stylistically, it does tend to get in the way at times within the story, much of it dealing with some of the characters themselves being very similar to those in Pan's Labyrinth: like how Zelda is, to a degree, Mercedes, Strickland is like Captain Vidal, and Robert is similar to Doctor Ferrerio. To me, it feels as if del Toro borrows a little too much from Pan's Labyrinth at times, like the bittersweet ending, the villains dominant nature, and his abuse towards his defector(s). I find it unfortunate that The Shape of Water kind of uses some of Pan's Labyrinth's elements as a bit of a crutch at times.

Overall though, I found The Shape of Water to be a very enjoyable film, and the best film I've seen in 2017, even if I didn't really see very many movies this year. I find it an interesting take on movie monster films, where instead of it being a horror film, it's a love story. I found the acting phenomenal, the story well executed, for the most part, and boasting beautiful visuals and cinematography. Even though the tone is a bit uneven at times and the borrowing of elements from one of del Toro's previous films does hurt the film a little bit, I still found this film to be heavily enjoyable and worth the watch. I look forward to what Guillermo del Toro has in store for us next.

Verdict: 8/10 (Glad I used my bathroom card right before Elisa and The Asset had sex. I didn't want to have that image burned into my mind).

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi: High Risk, Teetering Reward

Film: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Director: Rian Johnson

Rating: PG-13

After the release of The Force Awakens, Star Wars was back fresh in the minds of its fanbase. Many praised it as a return to form, after the major disappointment that was the prequel trilogy (I still like Revenge of the Sith), along with seeing the film as a passing of the torch from one generation to the next, both figuratively in the cast of the film, and literally with The Force Awakens ushering in a new generation of Star Wars fans. Others, however, found themselves disappointed in the film, criticizing it for paying too much homage to A New Hope to the point where it seemed stuck in its predecessor's shadow, while also having a main protagonist that seemed almost Mary Sue-ish (Mary Sue referring to a character with little to no flaws, the constant focus for the plot and dialogue, and being essentially wish fulfillment, commonly found in badly written fanfiction or worse, published stories). I would be lying if I said I wasn't in the second camp of people for a time. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely enjoyed The Force Awakens when it came out, but had the aforementioned criticisms. I understood that the film was setting up for another installment where questions would be answered, but it still annoyed me that the film was written and directed in this fashion.

Coming into The Last Jedi, I am glad that some of my questions were answered. I'm also glad that The Last Jedi, unlike its predecessor, was able to take some more risks and keep out of the shadows of the Original Trilogy, while also having some nods to those films that aren't as overbearing as in The Force Awakens. I enjoyed how stylized some moments of the film were, giving this film some character to it, along with developing the characters from the previous film. However, I was let down by Snoke being a disappointing villain, tone going all over the place, and the humor in the film not landing for me.

After the events Episode VII, The Resistance is on the run from The First Order, the former being tracked through light speed, finding themselves short on fuel, and under seige by The First Order, after suffering major casualties along the way. After an attack on the bridge of the Resistance ship leaves General Leia Organa incapacitated and many resistance fighters dead, command of the ship is taken over by Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, who has no intentions of fighting back. Because of this strategy, Poe, Finn, BB-8, and ship mechanic Rose Tico devise a secret plan to disable the tracking system the First Order has been using on their ship so they can escape.

Meanwhile, Rey has encountered Luke Skywalker, the last living remnant of the legendary Jedi. Rey seeks training from Luke, but he refuses, stating he has given up on training future Jedi and plans to die on the planet. After persuasion from R2-D2, Luke resentfully trains Rey to hone her skills with the Force. After realizing Rey's connection in the force bearing similarities with Kylo Ren, his former student, he becomes hesitant of training her, fearing that she will trun to the dark side, just like his former student. When Rey and Kylo establish a connection in the force with each other, able to communicate with one another, even when light years away, Rey feels that there is conflict within Kylo, and believes that she can turn him back to the light, so she sets out on her own, hoping to find a way to bring back Kylo to the light.

What I like about The Last Jedi is that it looks to take time to flesh out the characters more and better than its predecessor. There is a lot of downtime within this film, allowing the characters to interact with each other, and develop as the story progresses. For example, the interactions with Rey and Kylo through their Force connection were a great way to establish this development. Rey, at first, shows animosity towards Kylo when their connections start, but overtime, she becomes more friendly towards Kylo, as he expresses his side of the story of what happened between him and Luke. It's interactions like these that help move the story and characters forward.

However, despite the development of existing characters, the new characters that are introduced in this film are incredibly bland and forgettable. DJ has just about nothing to him that really sticks out, with his only traits being guided by money and having a stutter, while Rose Tico (holy crap I actually remembered her name!) is not engaging at all and so poorly established that I didn't get her name until the end of the film. Nothing about her personality I find engaging, whether it be her short lived fanaticism for Finn that doesn't really go anywhere other than an implied crush on him (with chemistry that is almost non-existent, like they are trying to shoehorn in a love triangle), to this no nonsense type, willing to do anything for the cause of the Resistance, which while less obnoxious, doesn't make her any better of a character. They also kept showing that she and her sister, who dies in the beginning, had this deep connection with each other, considering the charm Rose wears around her neck, but Rose's sister is not introduced well, as her death leaves no real impact on the audience, even if the film continues to showcase that she and Rose were close. You can try to visually shout all you want that Paige Tico (Rose's sister) death means a lot to Rose, but the audience won't feel that impact without showcasing the chemistry between the two sisters. The film should have found a way to showcase the relationship between Paige and Rose before the former's death. Her death would have left much more of an impact if that were the case.

Let's talk about Snoke. I adore Andy Serkis' performance as Snoke, able to bring him to life with the excellent motion capture. Snoke is so expressive thanks to Serkis, and at times looks and sounds menacing. However, a great performance doesn't dispell the fact that Snoke is such a disappointment for a villain, as he is given so little screen time and his presence within The Last Jedi is not utilized to what it could have been. There was so much buildup to how pivotal of a villain Snoke would be within this trilogy, yet The Last Jedi doesn't utilize that, or just straight up forgets, and kills him, without truly showcasing how menacing of a character he potentially could have been. I understand that Kylo Ren is supposed to come into his own character in this film, which he does, to a degree, but him killing Snoke is showing your hand way too early. You'd think you would develop Snoke more throughout these films, but I guess Rian Johnson thought otherwise. Pretty bad move on his part.

I liked what The Last Jedi did visually with this film. I liked, in concept, Rey's interaction within the mirror on the island, however it isn't fully realized how it could be effectively used, and the scene doesn't really have any place in the film in my eyes. The final battle in the film utilizes a neat combination of red and white with the salt and particles on the planet such battle takes place, something that was, again, visually interesting in concept, but the pay off still had a lot to be desired. The symbolism is pretty obvious for the latter effect, with red representing blood being tainted on the battlefield, something that has honestly been done to death, but was still pretty to look at.

I have mixed feelings about the risks in this film. Like the interesting visuals, they are good ideas in concept, but their impact still leaves a lot to be desired. Leia's ability to use the force does makes sense, considering she does have some slight sensitivity to it in the original trilogy. One can imply that she had some training in the force from Luke to a degree, an idea that can be implied with Kylo's Jedi training as a child, but that isn't established well enough to make sense at first, especially showcasing Leia flying through space. Relating back to Snoke, I'm not against the idea of killing him off this early, but when you don't develop him enough as a character, it makes his death mean less, as well as his impact of being a villain squandered. It's so heavily established, the idea that Snoke is the equivalent of Emperor Palpatine, but it's so poorly developed that it is aggravating to see him go out this early. I get that they show him being a powerful force user, but power means nothing if your villain isn't developed enough to be menacing with it. Kylo's establishment as the new villain of this trilogy is welcomed, but the execution is sloppy when you establish his relationship with Snoke, while also forgetting Kylo Ren's admiration for Darth Vader that was established in the previous film. Why completely gloss over that key detail?

There's an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed; the humor. I don't mean this lightly: I hate the humor of this film, as it has the same problems that plagued Thor: Ragnarok. Nothing kills the vibe of a scene filled with tension or drama than adding some slapstick or comedic quip. That can suck a viewer out of the film and can kill the tone the scene is trying to set. It's the same Marvel brand of humor that gets on my nerves at times. Maybe I'm sounding like a "no fun allowed" snob, but let me put it this way: would you be intrigued or annoyed in a scene where Rey attempts to retrieve her lightsaber from Snoke, but the latter utilizes the Force to make it miss her hand, fly back around, and then hit her in the back of the head? Or how about in one of Rey and Kylo's connection scenes where Kylo happens to not be wearing a shirt and Rey tells him to put a shirt on, as she is uncomfortable seeing him shirtless? Or when Luke emerges from the aftermath of all the blaster shots that were aimed at him and he does the whole brushing off of dirt off his shoulder in a cocky manner? I'm not saying Star Wars has to be this super serious series of films, but when you compare it to the original trilogy's humor, the jokes work as they tie to the personalities of the characters and don't kill the tone of the scene. I can't be the only one finding it odd that Johnson would include this unnecessary humor in this film, especially when it is being delivered by characters whose personalities don't fit with executing such humor. Was it some higher ups at Disney that demanded this humor be shoehorned in? If that is the case, what is wrong with you? Do you not know what comedic timing is or dramatic story telling is? It may make sense for Poe to make these quips as it fits his character, but not in a dramatic scene with Rey and Kylo.

You have no idea how much I want to like The Last Jedi, as there is some stuff to like about it. The visuals are nice ideas, though not fully realized, more development of previously established characters which add to their depth, satisfying action scenes, and the film taking more risks than its predecessor. But when your fun ride is peppered with risks that don't work out, like killing Snoke too early without developing him to establish Kylo Ren as the main villain, while glossing over the latter's admiration for Darth Vader, they don't hit the mark well enough. Not to mention, the new characters were not very memorable or satisfying to sit with, as they are uninspired in development. Not to mention the  tonal shifts that jump around all over the place, and humor that is more obnoxious than funny, I find myself so conflicted when thinking about this film, as I liked it when I saw. I mean, I wasn't in love with it when I saw it, but it was fun while it lasted, but as I let my thoughts on this film simmer, there were details within this film that really irked me. I do look forward to the next installment, but I'm not holding out on hope for it to be an excellent film like Empire Strikes Back was.

Verdict: 5/10 (I've never felt so conflicted about a film in my life)

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story: Built In Hope

Film: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Director: Gareth Edwards

Rating: PG-13

There are few film franchises or brands in general as iconic as Star Wars. As a film franchise, it has had multiple films over the past 40 years, bridging the gaps of generations of people of all walks of life. Not to mention, Star Wars also changed the way films were made, with innovative, yet cost-effective effects that, for the most part age fairly well, minus those of A New Hope, granted they have a dated charm to them, to the point where some claim Star Wars as "the death of cinema." After a prequel trilogy that leaves fans divided to this day on deciding whether they were good films or not (I fall into the camp of not thinking so, though I still enjoy Revenge of the Sith), a new trilogy of films have been conceived, helmed this time by Disney. Not only that, but a reworking of the expanded universe was put into place prior to the new films, decanonizing the original Star Wars Expanded Universe that while I myself am peeved by this decision, acknowledge that much of the EU was convoluted, filled with stories that contradict canon with each other and also having some ridiculous ideas as well. After rehashing the EU and announcing a trilogy of films for a new generation of fans, there also came with it an announcement of a new series of side story films within the Star Wars saga, the first of which would revolve around the obtaining of the Death Star plans, while also showcasing a more desperate rebel alliance that were more disadvantaged. That film would be Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Rogue One is a film that lays the groundwork for other Star Wars side-story films to follow suit in, expanding the canon and lore of the films in a more easily accessible way to those who don't watch the TV shows, read the novels or read the comics. It's more easily consumed this way, considering the films follow major plot points or characters, as the other side stories will center around Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi. There are two questions that come to mind when viewing Rogue One: 1.) Does it perform well as an expansion of the Star Wars lore, along with showcasing a story that is of great importance to the lore of Star Wars? 2.) Without the backing of the Star Wars brand, how does Rogue One perform as a standalone film? The first question can be answered easily; Yes, it does do its job well of expanding the universe of Star Wars, expanding upon how "The Force" is viewed in the Age of the Empire, while also showing the desperation of the Rebellion against the arrogant, yet intimidating Empire. However, when you remove the branding from this film and look at it as a film by itself, the flaws start to seep in, with a plot that is not very well paced, characters that, while entertaining, are not well developed, and goes a little overboard on the computer generated effects.

Let's start with the plot; After being rescued from an imperial prison camp for crimes against the Empire, Jyn Erso, a rebellious woman, joins the Rebel Alliance to fight against the Empire while accompanied by Cassian Andor, a disciplined captain of the Rebellion, Chirrut Imwe, a blind, force sensitive warrior, Baze Malbus, a mercenary and Chirrut's companion, Bodhi Rook, an imperial cargo pilot who defected from the Empire, and K-2SO, a reprogrammed imperial officer droid with a dry, sarcastic personality. They set off on a dangerous mission to obtain the plans for the Death Star, the Empire's secret weapon to obtain order in the galaxy. Plans of which Jyn Erso's father, Galen Erso, designed to have a flaw in the design that could be exploited in the future to potentially bring peace and freedom to the galaxy.

Themes of desperation, hope, and faith are the main focus in Rogue One, with such actions being portrayed by the cast in this film. Desperation is heavily showcased in the actions of the rebellion, presenting how much of a disadvantage they have against the Empire, such as Cassian shooting a fellow rebel in the back to cover his tracks and prevent the latter's potential capture. Hope is a central basis of how the Rebel Alliance was formed and is used, alongside faith, as a basis for their actions and fight against the Empire, even if the odds are entirely stacked against them.

Rogue One's presentation is much grittier compared to the mainline of Star Wars films, with the color palette utilizing cool, mute colors to set the tone visually. While it also takes some time to showcase the worlds within the universe, the film presents them in a very negative light to set the tone; dirty, rundown, oppressed by the Empire as opposed to the typical wonder and intrigued set by the main Star Wars films. This tone is complimented by much of the personalities of the characters themselves: disciplined, tense, rebellious, even sarcastic. There isn't a lot of positivity in this film. If there was, it would kill the vibe the film was going for.

The plot unfortunately is not that well paced, and tends to drag at points, along with having some pointless scenes, like Rook's interrogation to see if he's telling the truth about his origins. The third act of the film is the strongest point of the film, however, there are points at the Battle of Scarif that tend to drag on, such as the scenes in the Imperial Archives, where the plans for the Death Star are being kept.

As far as characters go, while they are engaging, they aren't exactly the most developed. The film does offer some origins for the characters, but the film doesn't allow time for the characters to develop themselves, or with each other, other than Jyn and Cassian, and even then, the characters don't exactly have that much chemistry with each other (though their actors make it work), or any of the companion characters that accompany them, with a few exceptions. It's a great deal that the characters are engaging, with the ones that come to mind are Chirrut and K-2SO being the highlights; Chirrut's faith in the Force, along with showcasing such faith, along with his famous line "I'm one with the Force; the Force is with me," lead him to being one of the more beloved characters from this film, along with his relationship with Baze, his companion and skeptic of the force until the end, showcasing, in a way, a religious person and a non-religious one who have mutual respect for each other. K-2SO brings with him a dry, sarcastic personality, a byproduct of his reprogramming. K-2SO brings many chuckles, even if he doesn't have quite as much dialogue as the others. Such humor makes sense given the setting of the film; with so much turmoil and oppression going around, one would have a personality filled with sarcasm, even if it is unexpectedly attached to a reprogrammed Imperial droid. The lack of development on these characters however puts a bit of a damper on the impact of their deaths at the end of the film, as it would have had a bigger impact if the characters were better developed, and not only just engaging through their endearing personalities.

A criticism shared by critics is Rogue One's overuse of computer generated effects, a notion that I agree with to a degree. There is nothing inherently wrong with CGI; when used well, it looks great, especially with the technology available now and potentially in the near future as tech continues to progress. However, in the case of Rogue One, criticism was drawn mainly towards its use for Grand Moff Tarkin, as the actor who portrayed Tarkin, Peter Cushing, had passed away before the film was even a concept. They decided to use motion capture to recreate Tarkin, and... well, while it looks great as far as CGI recreations go, it falls into the uncanny valley as he clearly looks fake, especially when he moves his mouth and eyes. Same criticism applies for the younger, computer generated version of Princess Leia at the end of the film, though it doesn't have the same prominence as Tarkin, who has quite a bit of screen time in Rogue One. Because of how fake Tarkin looks, there are times where I get sucked out of the film and know that Orson Krennic (Ben Mendelsohn) is essentially talking to empty space.

I do praise much of the action in Rogue One. Much of the action is built up very well, as there is a lot of build up to it over the course of the film, which works well, as a time period like this would have plenty of tension. The biggest highlight of course is the third act with the Battle of Scarif, witnessing the tension build up and up and up and up, and released with a fantastic sequence filled with action, drama, and high stakes. Of course, I can't talk about the end of Rogue One without talking about Darth Vader's scene at the end, the perfect blend of fan service, while also showcasing just how terrifying of a villain he is as he decimates Rebel soldiers like they are nothing to him. It's just perfect!

Overall, I do enjoy Rogue One. It does a good job as a Star Wars film, has great acting, engaging characters, and fantastic action sequences. However, the shortcomings show in the lack of character development, shaky pacing of the plot, and slight overuse of CGI, mainly in the case for Grand Moff Tarkin. I hope that the upcoming Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi films can learn from this film and showcase their versatility as films and expansion of the Star Wars lore and canon. *Hopes and prays that Solo: A Star Wars Story is good despite the development hiccups*

Verdict: 7/10 (Had a good time and glad that some of Felicity Jones' lines in the reveal trailer were cut, because the delivery on those were not great)

The Angry Birds Movie: Crash Landing

Film: Angry Birds

Director: Clay Kaytis, Fergal Reilly

Rating: PG

I'll be honest, I feel like I'm getting old. That's quite something to say from a 23-year-old loser who has done nothing extraordinary or contributing to the masses, and probably never will, at this point. All I feel like I do is stare at a screen for 60% of the day and think to myself "Man, I could be doing a billion better things right now" as I browse the same web pages over and over, check my social media havens to see if anyone liked my posts or if anyone other than a twitter bot has followed me, as I continue to become even more cynical of what I consider a good time. Then I watched The Angry Birds Movie and realized that I'd probably be better off wasting my time on a screen doing the same routine ad nauseam and continuing to put up with my cynical demeanor.

Video game film adaptations have always had such a notorious reputation of being some of the most sub-par content this side of earning a D in your Intro to Criminal Justice class because of how disinterested in the subject you were and had a hard time paying attention to the professor who spoke so monotonically like the police officer and attorney he was, and the fact that there was this cute girl with glasses that you couldn't keep your eyes off of until you realized she was married and had a kid... not like this happened to me or anything. Weird comparison aside, video game films have often just been mediocre at best, to blood boiling bad at worst, to downright confusing at "whuh" in execution. The reputations of these films are so shoddy, that the moment a trailer hits and you see a tagline that says, "Based on the hit video game," you can get a general idea of how the film is going to turnout: Not Good.

Angry Birds continues to be a reminder that you can pretty much take a brand at the peak of its popularity and turn it into a film that the masses will eat up. While films like The Super Mario Bros. Movie can revel in just how weird the film is, The Angry Birds Movie instead brings in an entry level blandness, complete with cliched writing and characters, unlikable characters, and low effort humor that fails to bring in the laughs.

So, what is the story of Angry Birds? As far as the plot goes, is about as much of a story you can make of the lore of Angry Birds, a series with lore the depth of a puddle on the sidewalk. Red is a red (who knew), flightless bird who is known for having anger management issues, gets sent to anger management class after a series of outbursts cause him to be a detriment to the other birds on the island he lives on. He meets up with other birds in the class: Chuck, a fast-talking petty criminal, Bomb, a large, black bird known for exploding, Matilda, the class instructor, and Terrance, a large, intimidating bird who secretly has a heart of gold (kill me please). One day, a colony of pigs come to the island under the guise of friendly visitors, who show the birds of the island innovative technology to improve their lives, while the pigs plot to steal the eggs of the birds. Red sees through their scheme, but the other birds don't believe him until the eggs are stolen. So, it is up to Red and his new found "friends" to find a way to defeat the evil pigs and take back the eggs that were stolen from them.

If you look in the dictionary for the word "originality," first it would tell you the ability of being original, and in your frustration, you scan for the word "original" and you will find that the The Angry Birds Movie is written right next to it. Then you realize that there was a mistake in the dictionary and you white out this movie and you draw your OC from Doctor Who, Sherlock, or whatever show the masses are frothing at the mouth for this month. Angry Birds takes such a lazy approach to a film, that it sacrifices some of the accuracy of the original plot to shoehorn a story about a misunderstood outsider, ostracized by his own people because they don't understand him. This has been done to the point of annoyance in plenty of stories over the years. Not to mention, they steal themes from other stories as well, like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Also, there is no reason to have Red be a social outcast. It doesn't make him any stronger of a character. It may make his anger more identifiable, sure, but giving a character identity isn't going to automatically make them a good character, especially when not just the main character, but almost everyone in this movie is an asshole to the point of absolute no likability.

I guess it's as good a time as ever to discuss the characters. It's no secret that I dislike every single character in this movie, from their personality, to their lack of originality, and the writing. Like I mentioned earlier, every character's personality is like having a positive trait when tasting litmus paper; gross. The personalities of the main characters, specifically Red and Chuck, make the film feel so mean spirited that it becomes hard to watch at times. Everyone is so mean to each other and the film gives zero time for the characters to sit down and have a quiet, bonding moment to let the characters develop a friendship with one another. The movie is more concerned with rushing out jokes and using fast paced animation and loud noises as a distraction, like rattling your keys in front of your infant child to entertain them. While the animation does fit the tone and genre of the film, with its large uses of face contortion, nothing about it really sticks out ahead of other 3D animated films.

Speaking of the humor, very few, if any, of the jokes landed with me as I watched this movie. The Angry Birds Movie bases its humor mostly in puns, as far as dialogue humor goes, and if you knew my sense of humor, you would know that I'm not too fond of puns. I think it's a lazy form of comedy that doesn't take that much effort and wit to execute. Then again, some people may not find a video of Tourettes Guy telling Colgate customer service that their toothpaste with tartar control made him feel "like a piece of shit" as funny, but I digress; humor is subjective. Still, the humor isn't just puns, there is also high-brow comedy of Mighty Eagle peeing in a lake that Chuck and Bomb swam in and drank from for a good minute or so. Kids deserve better than this. Heck, any Angry Birds fans left out there deserve better.

Currently, in the life of video game film adaptations, I feel like progress is still not being made. It doesn't matter if you have accuracy to the source material or passable animation or effects. The idea is to try to translate the story or concept of the game you're adapting into the language of film, which if you aren't fluent or have a good understanding of, it's not going to fly well, even with a slingshot as a sendoff. Even if your film is a financial success, like this one was, it doesn't paint a good picture for the future of these adaptations in the future. I'm not holding out on hope for the future Mario film by Illumination Studios at this point.

Verdict: 2/10 (I didn't like it.)